Once upon a time, a year ago, I was flying to Japan. I was flying the nonstop from Chicago to Tokyo with my husband. Somehow I got stuck in the middle seat, (and anyone who has read any of my other blogs about middle seats will know how great I thought this was) while Ed got the aisle. At the last minute, this guy came barrelling down the aisle and practically catapaulting over me and Ed into the empty window seat. I was hoping for that extra seat, but it was ok, the guy seemed nice.
Well, this guy, I come to find out, has never been overseas, and was not aware that you get complimentary booze on such flights. So, after he proceeds to get completely trashed, he takes to jumping over me to get out to go and bother the flight attendants. While Im sleeping. AND FARTING THE WHOLE TIME. This guy woke me out of a dead sleep TWICE because he had farted in midjump trying to get out of his seat! 13 hours of farting. Even when I was awake, this guy was letting them rip so loud and so long that it was hard to keep a straight face. It was hardly a blissful flight, crammed in the middle seat next to this stranger with gastrointestinal pyrotechnics going on 2 inches to the right. Even the stewardesses could smell it back in their galley!
Well, after 13 beers (he didnt realize that they were complimentary, and acted like the flight was an opportunity to tailgate all teh way to Japan), one 2 hour long drunken conversation with my husband, 3 sleeping pills, and an hour until landing, the guy finally fell asleep. He was still sleeping as we got off the plane, and from the gossip I overheard from the flight attendants, they had to call security to haul this guy off, since no one could wake him up!
We saw him, looking pretty travel worn, at baggage claim about a half hour later.
That was the last I saw of our stinky friend.